Diagnose This
by Zareth
Summary: Something's on Wilson's mind and House is determined to find out what. The answer may surprise him, though.


Disclaimer: Still don't own it. Still wish I did.

**Diagnose This**

Wilson was acting strange, that much he knew. He'd been avoiding him for the last several days now. He hadn't come to his office, hadn't been at lunch, and hadn't even been in the halls. It was like Wilson was trying to disappear. The part he didn't get was why. But hell, he was House. Figuring out this kind of thing was what he was best at. In fact, if anyone was taking bets on this, he'd put himself down to have his little Wilson mystery solved by the end of the day.

He waited as patiently as was possible for him to wait until lunch. Using some seriously cool spy-like maneuvers, he was able to discern Wilson's form leaving his office and walking toward the cafeteria; time for operation Interrogate Wilson to begin.

Just as Wilson was plopping down in his chair, lunch in hand, House made himself at home in the chair across from him. Wilson took on a look very much like a dog caught stealing food from master's plate.

"You're avoiding me. Why?"

"I am not. I've been busy. You may be surprised to find the world doesn't revolve around you, House."

"Your world revolves around me, Jimmy. We all know that I'm the wind beneath your wings." This of course, was followed by a girlish fluttering of lashes.

Blushing an interesting shade of red, Wilson mumbled out "House…I…have work to do," and without further adieu, was up and hurrying away. If House had been anyone other than himself, he probably would have blinked in surprise. However, since he was in fact himself, he just blinked because he had to.

Helping himself to a bite of Wilson's abandoned lunch, House excused himself back to his office for a date with his ball and yo-yo (stupid soaps had decided not to be on today).

The rest of House's rather case-less afternoon was spent pondering exactly what in the hell Wilson was up to. Clearly he had something on his mind, or he wouldn't have bolted like that. The more House thought about it, the more interesting his little mystery was becoming. Needless to say, he made himself comfortable, and began to plot.

Just as Wilson was about to step from his office to go home, he found a cane blocking the doorway. Strangely enough, the first thought that entered Wilson's mind was "I don't remember that being there before…" right before said cane backed him into his office, a glaring House on the other end of the offending stick.

"All right, Cancer Boy. You're going to tell me what's going on in that ridiculously blow-dried head of yours. Even if I have to beat it out of you."

Eyeing House warily as the cane was waved threateningly in front of his face, Wilson let out a long, suffering sigh, before pacing back around his desk and dropping unceremoniously into his chair.

"House, trust me. This is one mystery I think you're rather not solve."

"Oh, is that so? What makes you think an ignorant thought like that, Jimmy?"

"I…because it could screw up a lot of things, House. Badly."

Dropping himself into the chair across from Wilson, House scrutinized him carefully.

"You've bagged a new nurse. Having problems already? Catch an STD? Propose? Gasp, I hope not. I'd like to think even _you_ are smarter than that, Jimmy."

Wilson gave him a look House supposed was meant to be a glare. He needed to put Cancer Boy through Glaring 101, apparently.

"No nurses, no issues, no STDs, and no, damnit, I have not proposed to anyone."

"Then why are you avoiding me like a baldy you can't shake?"

"It's complicated. I don't really want to talk about it, House. Can you just leave something alone for once? It wouldn't kill you to mind your own business for a change."

Standing up, Wilson attempted to make it past House to the door, oddly, he found himself pinned to the wall instead.

"You're not leaving this room until you tell me what's on your mind, Jimmy."

House was leaning his full weight against Wilson whilst lodging his cane beneath Wilson's chin. Wilson closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath, intentionally avoiding looking at House and their current positions. When the cane pressed slightly harder against his neck, Wilson's eyes shot open to stare right into House's…and his resolve went right out the window.

"You want to know? You really want to know that badly?"

"Yes, Jimmy, I do."

"Then get that damned cane away from me and I'll tell you."

Lowering his cane back down to his side, but keeping Wilson pinned to the wall with his weight, House stared back into his eyes with an expression the clearly read "Spill it. Pronto."

"You want to know what's been on my mind, why I've been avoiding you? I'll tell you what's had me such a mess, House. It's you. You're what I've been thinking about."

The arched eyebrow was enough to tell Wilson that House didn't believe him. After a moment's consideration, he decided if he was going to nark on himself, he may as well do it properly. Leaning forward as much as he could, Wilson pressed his lips lightly against House's.

If he'd been anyone other than himself, House would have been shocked, but since he was himself he was…well, he was still shocked, but only a little…

Pulling away, Wilson watched House's face for any sign of a reaction, half expecting to be bludgeoned to death by cane at any moment. The reaction he got, was much better than he ever could have dreamed of, however, when House leaned in and captured his lips again, pushing his tongue past Wilson's lips for some seriously belated exploration. It was about this time that Wilson came to the conclusion that thinking was overrated and let his eyes fall shut again, melting into the kiss.

Stepping back and releasing Wilson from the wall, House's eyes couldn't help stare at the face of his friend, lips parted and swollen, eyes closed, and breathing heavily. Opening his eyes slowly, Wilson gazed dazedly at House.

"Are you happy now? I told you. Now go ahead and tell me you don't want me around anymore."

Taking a step forward back into Wilson's space and placing a hand on either side of his head, House leaned over and whispered into Wilson's ear softly, his breath tickling the sensitive tissue.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am happy now."

Without giving Wilson a chance to process that newest bit of data, House's lips were back on his, killing all thought processes before they even had a chance to begin. It was about this time that Wilson figured he should stop trying to read House's emotions. He didn't seem to get it right very often anyway. On closer inspection though, Wilson decided maybe that wasn't so bad, since what House really felt was infinitely better than Wilson could have ever hoped for.

Finis

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